Lost
by love for edward
Summary: Bella was in the band, Breaking Dawn. She was living the life everyone wished they could. There was only one thing wrong with her life... she didn't know who he was.
1. Prologue

Lost: Prologue

Lost and broken, that's what I am. I had my friends. They loved me. But somehow that just wasn't enough. I kept on seeing him. I don't know his name. But I know him. I don't know how I know him. I just... Do.

I moved to Forks so my mother and Phil could move to Florida and start their own lives. I had finished high school and reunited with an old friend, Jake. I knew he was attracted to me, but I didn't feel any sort of attraction towards him... Or anyone for that matter.

After my dad, Charlie, died, I moved back to Phoenix. After he died I lost the light in my eyes. I couldn't function without him. We were close. Very close. He, in most ways, Was my best friend. Jake had gotten ahold of two of my closest friends, Kirsten and Alex. They were at my house immediately. They never left my side.

Kirsten and Alex always knew how to cheer me up. Alex brought over his guitar and sang my favorite songs to me. Kirsten and I would sing along just like old times. Of course we had to explain everything to Jake. I never told anyone that I sang and played the guitar.

We had discussed starting a band, but we never had anyone willing to be our manager... Until now.


	2. Daydreamer

Lost- Chapter 1: Daydreamer

"Bella? Bella!" I was startled out of my reverie by Kirsten. "Bella, are you ok?"

" Yea...uh... Yea I'm fine." No I'm not. I haven't been fine for a while.

"No you're not. You were thinking of him again, weren't you?"

I just sighed. There was no getting away from that fact.

"Do you know who he is yet?"

"No, I don't. I just know that I know him somehow."

She sighed. "You need to stop thinking about him. It's not healthy and we're going on soon." We were in Chicago backstage ready to kick start our tour.

"Ok. What's the set list?"

"Bells?" I jumped from the sound of that booming voice. Jake. He was my best friend. I would know that voice anywhere. "You know the order of the set list. It's the same order of our new Cd."

"Oh," I breathed. "I, uh, knew that. Of course I did."

"Yea. Sure. You ok?" I knew what that meant. He would do anything to make sure I was ok. Even cancel our first tour.

"NO! Don't even think about it! We worked way too hard for you to cancel it now!"

"Ok, ok Bells. We won't cancel the concert. But if you're not ok, just let me know."

"I'm fine. Really. I just have a strange feeling." All three of them looked at me skeptically. I just rolled my eyes at them and walked away.

I picked up my guitar and got into position. I looked back at Alex and Kirsten and gave them a thumbs up. They winked at me and I took a deep breath and turned towards the mic. The lights turned on and everyone started cheering and screaming.

That's when I saw him. The guy from my thoughts, the man that invaded my dreams... He was here.


	3. Do I know you?

Lost- Chapter 2: Do I know you?

I took a deep breath and got dressed. The concert went good and now we were getting ready for the backstage guests.

"Bella, everything will be OK. Stop worrying about it." Alex always tried to cheer me up, but today it just wasn't working. I just had this strange feeling that something was about to happen.

"Bella, you'll be fine. Don't worry 'bout it."

"I know Kirsten, I know." I don't know what to think, don't know what to do. I just felt helpless. I didn't like this feeling. I felt so vulnerable, just like anything could happen to me and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Bells, there is a slight problem." I turned around to see a very nervous looking Jake. I nodded at him to continue and he drew in a shaky breath. "Uh, The backstage guests wanted a more private meeting at their house tomorrow. I said it was OK but then got a strange feeling about it." I looked at him like he had two heads.

I mean we didn't know these people. What if they were serial killers and we just walked into there house unknowing that we were about to being killed? Ok, I was being a little over dramatic. But seriously, we have never done that before and it was kind of scary.

"Uh, OK Jake. I just wished you would have asked first." He nodded and gave me an apologetic smile and waled away. I smiled at the thought of not having to meet with anyone tonight and just going home to relax.

I finished getting my stuff together and grabbed my keys to go home. "Hey guys, I'm just going to head home. I'm tired and being as we don't have to meet anyone I don't see the point of sticking around."

"Oh, OK Bella. Be careful. We are going out tonight and won't be back till later. Are you sure you don't want to come with?" Alex gave me a pleading look. I sighed and turned around and headed for the door.

"Yes, I'm sure I don't want to come with. I'm tired. You go and have fun! Love you guys!" I yelled over my shoulder and walked out the door. I got into my blue Ferrari. I couldn't help but to look over my shoulder as I got into it. "Come on Bella," I said to myself. "You are being ridiculous." I shook my head and started the engine. As I drove off I couldn't help but to think about the next day.

What would it have in store for me? Ugh I need to stop watching those stupid daytime dramas. They got me way too uptight about things.

As I pulled into my driveway, I looked at my beautiful home. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I thought of how proud my dad would be of me now. I smiled at that. I missed him so damn much.

I sighed and got out of my car. I walked into the house and dropped my keys in the little bowl we kept by the door. We all lived in the same house and we loved it. We were all so close that we didn't even think twice about living together. It was just natural.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a Pepsi. Once I finished that i went up to my suite, yes i said suite, we all had master suites, and got in the shower. I closed my eyes as I let the hot water melt away all of my worries. After I was all clean and worry free I walked into my closet and pulled out some short shorts and a Cami to sleep in.

I plopped down onto my bed and turned on the t.v. I sighed as the gossip channel talked about some rumor that wasn't true about me. They said that I was going to therapy for depression. That was so not true!.. At least it isn't anymore. I just shook my head as I turned it off.

I pulled the blankets up in hopes for a good nights sleep. But who was I kidding? I haven't had a good nights sleep since Charlie died. I shuddered at that memory. I didn't like thinking of it and how his life was brutally taken from him.

I closed my eyes and drew in a shaky breath as I let the silent tears fall down my face. There was nothing I could do about his death now... I just wished I knew how to stop it when it happened.

I awoke to Jake softly shaking me. I opened my eyes, which were still red and puffy from me crying all night and looked up at him. "Oh Bella," he said as he got into bed with me. "It's alright. Shh don't cry." It felt like we did this every morning.

"Jake, I'm sorry. You shouldn't need to worry 'bout this. It's not your problem." I sighed as I snuggled closer to him. Sure I can say the words, but I could never mean them. Maybe I should go back to therapy. I have been depressed for two years and I haven't done anything about it.

The only thing that made me feel remotely better was him. Just the thought of my mystery guy made me smile. Ha! See? I have feelings for someone I don't even know. Why was he there last night? Who was he? Why did I have a feeling that i somehow knew him? I sighed and pulled away from Jake.

"Where you going Bells?"

I looked back at him and threw him a weak smile. "I'm going to take a shower. Didn't you say that we had to meet the guests today? Well I don't want to go over looking like this." I made a gesture towards my body. "I'm a mess."

All he did was shake his head and huffed at me. He got up and walked to the door. "You will never see yourself clearly Bells. Why can't you remember?" He said the last part so low that I don't think it was meant for me to hear.

"W-what was that Jake?" He slowly turned around and looked at me confused.

"I said that you don't see yourself clearly Bells. You're beautiful. Don't you see all the guys that look at you? Me and Alex have to physically restrain ourselves from kicking their asses."

I just smiled and shook my head. "Thanks Jake. You always make me feel better." I turned around and went into my bathroom. I striped off my clothes and got into the steaming hot shower. I closed my eyes and just stood there.

I didn't know how long I was just standing there, but by the time I opened my eyes, the water was running cold and my fingers were all wrinkly. I turned off the water and wrapped a big fluffy towel around my body and went to the closet. After I was dressed and my hair was dry I went downstairs to see if everyone else was ready.

"Hey beautiful!" Alex called over his shoulder. He was making breakfast for all of us (like usual).

"Hey stud!" I laughed as a sat by Kirsten. "So, what time are we going over to... Well what's their names?" I looked at the guys for my answer. Alex looked at Jake and Jake looked at Kirsten.

"Uh," Kirsten looked at the paper in front of her. "Cullen. It's a family of seven. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Esme, Carlisle and Edward."

"Oh." I breathed. "So what time are we going over?" I asked again.

"Oh, well they wanted it to be an all day event. And they paid more money. So right after breakfast I suppose." Alex said as he plated our food.

"Yum Alex! Like seriously this is good." I said as I gave him a big thank-you smile.

"No problem Bells." He shot me a smile as he sat down across from me. "So, does anyone know how they'll be? The Cullen's I mean."

Me and Kirsten shook our heads while Jake just looked back to his food. Alex shrugged and continued eating.

"Ugh! How much further?" Kirsten complained for the hundredth time.

I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. Jake sighed and hit his head with palm. While Alex shook his head and turned down a small dirt road.

"Seriously guys! I want to know how much longer!"

"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up! I can't take it anymore! Look! we are here! Now will you stop asking that stupid question?!" I laughed at the look on her face when Alex went off on her. She should have known better than to annoy him while he is driving.

"Oh shut up Bella." She huffed as she got out of the car. I got out and looked at the house. Something was strange about it. Like I've seen it before.

"Come on Bells!" I looked to see the rest of the gang at the front door waiting for me. I hurriedly ran up to them just in time for a small pixy like girl to answer the door. I just couldn't help but say the first thing that popped out of my mouth. "Do I know you?"


	4. I miss her Epov

Lost- Chapter 3: I Miss Her (Epov)

I sighed as I remembered the only happy time of my long miserable life. The time when she was with me. Bella. My precious Bella.

*Flashback* "Edward, I love you." I smiled and leaned in to kiss her. Oh how I would miss her. Today was the day my family had to move. I told her 'bout a month ago and all she did for two weeks was cry. I had refused to take her life away at such a young age and told her she had to stay here for Charlie. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. She was my life. Without her I just wasn't whole.

I gently pulled her onto my lap and held her close. If I were ably to cry, I would be bawling. Tearless sobs raked throughout my body as she cried. I wanted nothing more than to spend every moment of the day with her.

"Bella," I whispered in her ear. "I will always love you. You are my only reason for living, though I hardly call it that. You are my everything. And when the time is right I will come back and get you. Never doubt that my love." More tears streamed down her face as she crushed her lips to mine. This time I didn't pull away. I needed her now more than ever.

When we pulled apart I rested my head on hers and hummed the lullaby I wrote for her. She sighed and hummed along. I had no idea how I was going to live without her, but i knew that she was going to be safe. And that was comforting.

*End flashback*

I sighed as I held my head in my hands. If I had known what was going to happen when I left I would never have gone. When Charlie was murdered me and my family went back to Forks to be with Bella. It turned out that she was seeing a therapist at the time and he told us that she blocked out all the bad things that had happened in her life... That meant me.

We left without seeing her. She was gone, my Bella was gone. I let out a broken sob. I haven't been the same without her. And seeing her last night did no good.

She didn't remember me. And now they were on their way to come spend time with us, their backstage guests that just so happened to pay extra money to get more time with them.

I had been keeping in touch with Jake. Just to see if she got any of her memory back. He was trying everyday, giving subtle hints, but nothing was working. She didn't even remember that he was a werewolf. She didn't remember one thing about the supernatural world. She didn't remember any of the memories we shared. Or the fact that I am still in love with her.

Another sob raked through my body at the thought of her not knowing that I love her. That I had planned on marrying her... And changing her just so i could spend all of eternity with her.

I am completely hopeless. I got off of my bed and walked to the door. They would be here any moment and i had to look presentable. Alice had said that she would know what we are but not say anything.

Just as I was done getting ready the doorbell rang and everyone looked at me to see if I would be ok. Edward? Are you ok? Emmett thought. "Yes Emmett, I'm fine. At least I get to see her again, right?"

He sighed and was at my side in a second. "Edward, she is my little sister. I love her so much. And if I love her that much, I can't even begin to think of how much you love her. I know that you are not fine. Alice said that she could begin to remember today if everything went well."

I looked in his eyes and saw comfort and longing. He missed her, I knew that. They all missed her. But I missed her most of all.

I looked downstairs and saw Alice bound to the door. We all took a deep breath before she opened it. Jake looked straight up at me and nodded. I looked at Bella and my breath hitched. She was so beautiful.

She looked straight at Alice and said something that shocked us all. "Do I know you?" Esme started sobbing and Alice almost started bouncing up and down. I just couldn't stop looking at her.

"Yes." Was all Alice could say. Bella got this confused look in her eyes and then saw me. She gasped. I smiled down at her. "I-I know you. I see you all the time in my thoughts and dreams. I-I just can't figure out how I know you or your name." She got a sad look in her eyes when she said this.

"Wait, Bells. That's the guy you've been thinking of this whole time?" Her friend asked. Bella simply nodded. "Oh. My. God. Edward? You have been thinking of Edward? Bells, how do you not remember him?" Bella looked up confused. I shot a look at Jake before I came down the stairs.

"Bella why don't you come inside and we'll explain everything." I said to her as I took her hand leading her to the couch. I had no clue what I was going to say to her. I doubted that "Bella I am your boyfriend that moved away and we are madly in love with each other, oh yea, and by the way I am a vampire." Yea, that wouldn't go over very well.

"So, How do I know you. And how do I know what you guys are?" My whole family gasped at what she said. She couldn't possibly Remember what we are could she? Edward, She knows. And she still loves you. I looked at Alice and she nodded. Jake also nodded.

"Uh, Bella. I-I am a-"

"Vampire. Yes I know that. I just want to know how I know that." She said with a very serious look in her eye. I heard Emmett chuckle from across the room. Looks like she's still the same stubborn Bella we all know and love. Emmett and Jasper thought at the same time.

"Bella, we are going to go outside for a bit and let you guys discus this." The one named Alex said.

"Sure, I'll be right here if you need me."

WIth that the three of them got up and went outside. I looked back to Bella and took a deep breath. There was only one thing I wanted to do before I said anything... Kiss her. I put both my hands on the sides of her face and crushed my kips to hers. I didn't care that she didn't know who I was. I didn't care about my stupid boundaries that I had set oh so long ago. All I care about was Bella. My Bella, back in my arms.

The best part was, she was kissing back. I smiled as i pulled away from her to let her breathe. My whole family was smiling and Alice was bouncing up and down in her seat. I couldn't help but to laugh at what had just happened.

Her cheeks went bright red. I gently stroked my hand along her cheek. "Oh how I've missed this." I said to her as I brought her chin up to kiss her one more time. I smiled as she kissed back again.

"Edward. I-I love you." She said as i pulled away from her.

"You- you remember me?" I said with the biggest smile on my face. I couldn't believe she remembered me.

"Yes." She breathed. "I remember all of you. I-I just don't know how I forgot all of you." She stopped and looked like she was thinking of how to say something. "And you guys were at my concert last night and you didn't do anything?"

I laughed. She was so cute when she was in tiger kitten mode. "Oh my silly little tiger kitten, What do you think this is? We had talked to Jake to get you to come over so you can get your memory back." I said as i pulled her close to me. She buried her head in my chest and inhaled deeply.

"I've missed you my love. And I am so sorry I wasn't there before. I would never have left if I knew all of this would happen. I will never ever leave you again!" I vowed to her as I pulled her over to the couch.

"I've missed you too Edward. So much. Even though I couldn't remember you clearly I still knew you had to be a part of my life somehow, someway." She said. "I love you so much. But, being as we are here on business, what do you want to know about the band?" She laughed. The others walked in with big smiles on their faces.

"YAY!!! Ok, so Bella, why didn't you tell us that you could sing?" Alice asked.

"Uh, well I didn't really tell anyone. I grew up with Kirsten and Alex, so they were the only ones who knew." She explained.

"Oh. Ok. But you really are amazing Bella. You should have told us. You could have had a career a long time ago if you would have told us." Said Alice.

"No. I don't want to do the band without Alex and Kirsten. They make the band what it is. Without them I don't know what it would be."

"Awe, thanks Bells. You know that Alex Stopped singing until you came back? He said that he just didn't feel the need to sing without you anymore." Kirsten explained to Bella. I sighed and pulled Bella closer to me. I saw Alex grimace from the corner of my eye. Oh Bella, you will never know my love for you. I have loved you all my life. I grimace at what Alex was thinking. How could he ever love her as much as I do?

"Uh do any of you mind if I spend the night here tonight?" My sweet Bella asked. My family and I shook our heads no and the girls all squealed a 'yes of course you can stay'. Bella looked over to her friends, Jake smiled and said it was fine same with Kirsten. Alex just shrugged and walked away.

Bella looked up at me and kissed my jaw. "Looks like I'm staying here tonight." She said in a seductive voice. I couldn't help the shiver that ran through my body and my breathing hitched. She just laughed and continued to talk to my family, our family.

I can't give you what you want

And it's killing me and I, I'm starting to see

Maybe we're not meant to be

I looked towards the back door and saw Alex leaning on the porch railing softly singing that in his head. I could only guess who he was talking about. I looked at my beloved Bella and kissed her head.

I was whole again. My life was once again complete. I had everything i needed right here. And I won't ever go back to the way it was.


End file.
